"Yes Boss" - Area Z1 humorous speech competition 2nd runner-up speech 24-Sep-2008

"Laughter is an instant vacation" - Once my boss told me so. So in case you guys are going for a vacation in next 5-7 minutes, please hand over $10 after the speech. Respected Judges, fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentleman. A very good evening to you all. Today I am going to speak on "Yes Boss".

Last year I wanted to participate in "Humorous Speech Competition". I went to my Boss's cabin.
"Boss, I want to partcipate in humorous speech competition." I told her.
"Humorous speech competition!! Whatz that!! Anyway you are a default winner, if competition is among the lossers.Have you seen your ugly face? Your dressing sense? Your pathetic pronunciation?" "Yes Boss" I told her. But, I could only disagree to her in silence. But my wife encouraged me a lot. She always belived I can win a competition. So here am I to-night. I hope I will win the competition and prove my boss wrong and make my wife happy.

When I joined my company, on the very first day, my boss took me to a closed room. She said " Remember, I am the boss I have been waiting for.So please don't mess with me". I was so much of scared that I consumed 2 litters of water that day. From that day till now my water consumption has increased exponentially. Today I consume 5 litters of water daily and that is because of my Boss.

My boss was born in Venzuela. Her parents belonged to Madagskar and most of her life was spent in scnadinivian region. But to me Venzuela,Vanzula,Madskar, mudgaskar, scandinivian, kandinivian all sounded same. Soon I started feeling that I am over a hot air baloon which will burst at any moment of time. Like this passed couple of months.

One day, me and my boss was travelling in MRT. I asked my boss " Boss , the world is flat. isn't it?"
"Yes yes, the world is flat. Infact these days I am reading a book titled 'The world is flat' by Freedman"- Boss told me.
Boss didn't know that I had sneaked into her cabin and saw that book in her absence.
"Boss what do you?" I asked my boss.
" I hate people like you who vacate the restroom without washing their hands properly." Boss told me.
From that day onwards whenever boss around I will ensure that visible water droplets on my hand if I meet my boss. Now Boss has started liking me. Whatever she would say I would simply say "Yes boss".
"Singapore is the most powerful country in the world" Boss would tell.
"Yes boss".
"Sentosa island is the biggest Island in the world."
"Yes Boss"
"George bush would become for 3rd time primeminister of US"
"Yes Boss".
Now boss has become good friend with me. But I always realised friend is a friend never a gal and gal is a gal never a friend.

Today I met my boss and told "Suggest some topics for today's speech competition".
"You can talk about Man falling in love with female crocodile. Blue cheese chicken curry. Cylindrical roti paratha, or you can talk abt joker like you."
Then I thought why not I speak about my boss. She is perfect material for humorous speech competition. I think you guys must have enjoyed my "Yes Boss". I hope judges will be impressed as well and give me a prize, so that I can prove my boss wrong and make my wife happy.

Yes, whoever has laughed, don't forget to give me $10.

Thanks. Over to toastmaster of the evening.